Lady Balls of the Chest!


Shiny Red Ball

It’s been a super long time since I posted anything or recorded an episode for the podcast. Since leaving my job in December I’ve been pretty distracted in general. If I wasn’t so easily distracted by games and social media (and wasn’t a mental nut) I would be covering the bullshit that is the marriage equality postal vote. 

There has been some real bullshit flying our around about marriage equaliyy and the gay, hasn’t there? Its not surprising thar use of LGBTQIA support services has risen by 40%. There was even a straight lives matter protest in Sydney. All this for a 100 million postal vote that is just a glorofied opinion poll, it won’t impact on the laws and the government can ignore the result. 

What a waste of time, money, and mental health. Fuck the libs. 


My Problem With Onision

If you watch a lot of youtube or follow Jaclyn Glenn, then you probably know who Onision is. His real name is Greg and he has been described (by people across various platforms) as controversial, troubled, psychotic, and a cancer of the internet. I discovered UhOhBro around a year ago and have been following all three of this channels since. In my usual fashion, I looked at his older videos before making my way to his newer ones.

At first, I really enjoyed his videos and he often made good points about various topics. I couldn’t agree with everything he said, but that can be true for anyone who happens to share their opinions without any filter. I am not really here to address his older videos, but really his videos from the past 6 months or so.

For a little backstory – his wife (Lainey) and he were dating a young woman named Billie and it has been up and down (and on and off) for pretty much the entire time and at first I really did not care about this. I saw it as just another pile of drama for him to be able to get views from (which he has admitted to in the past). The problem that I have seen with this situation has more been within the last 3 months or so. His attitude and expectations seemed to be way off.

Let me explain. Greg claims that they kept breaking up with Billie because of her untruthfulness or lies, but then would bring her back because they missed her. Again, I didnt really have concern for Billie as she is a grown woman that can make her own decisions about her relationship with the couple. The issue is what Onision told her she should do to prove that she loved them and that she could be trusted. Sounds pretty OK right? Not really. I personally think it is far from OK. He mentioned all these things in his Onision Speaks channel so it is all there for you to see.

He asked her to…
– Get a tattoo of the flower that is a favourite of his wife
– Get a tram stamp tattoo that stated she was a liar
– Make a video apology on YouTube for all to see
– Not see her family for a year except on holidays
– Give up seeing her best friend (that one was a while ago)
– Be chained up in the basement for humiliation

The fuckedupness does not end there. In one video he stated that they kept taking her back because they found her attractive, which is pretty gross but if I recall correctly, he then stated that her best friend was ugly and if she had looked like her then they wouldve called it quits ages ago which is just not cool. Onision shared secret and personal info on both Ayalla (the best friend) and Billie which they had not consented to. He was asked not to share that kind of information but he did anyway.

Billie came out with her own video addressing Onision and stated the following (sourced from eoliveson on tumblr).

“I know that a lot of people are going to tell me that I shouldn’t make this video. But, I’m honestly sick of not standing up for myself, I don’t have to deal with this situation anymore. So, Onision, please stop harassing me and my best friend. I’m tired of seeing your tweets, tired of being tagged in your tweets of you just harassing us and telling us we’re awful druggy people.

Please, leave me alone. Stop talking about me, don’t speak about me in your videos. I’m done. Like, I hope you’re happy, you completely destroyed all of my pride. You told me to get a tattoo saying ‘I’m a liar’. Like, a tramp stamp. You told me to shave my head, you told me to dye my hair green, shave off my eyebrows and get an ugly tan. Like, is that not abusive to you? Do you think that’s a fair trade for me telling you that I smoked weed? Like, that’s what you think is okay? I betrayed your trust? You fucking betrayed my trust, you told everyone secrets about me. Fucking everyone, like what the fuck is wrong with you?

You wanted to chain me up in your basement, and then manipulated the situation to tell me that I was boring, so I would agree to it because you made me feel bad. And on top of that, you told everyone that you only thought I was really attractive and that’s why you stayed with me. Like, so I was just like a play thing? You didn’t actually love me? So like, why are you talking about love like you even know what love is?
You’re mentally abusive to everyone around you, you call people names, you make them feel bad about themselves. I don’t understand how you can do that and not feel bad about yourself. Like, does that make you happy? Telling people that they’re worthless and that they’re cunts? And that they should die because they smoke weed? Like calling them an idiot because they don’t agree with you on something? That’s not a sane person. Like you shouldn’t do that to people.

You called Ayalla ugly. You wanted me to not see my family for an entire year except for on holidays. And you tried to manipulate your way around it by saying ‘drug users’. Telling people to do things for you to an extreme is not what love is. Like, you’re mad because I lied to you and betrayed you. My lie was that I smoked weed, I decided to smoke weed on New Years and I guess I fucked up your relationship contract. So now it’s all a big deal, because contracts are so important and they should totally be in relationships in the first place.

Like, you fucking ruined me. Ruined me. Like I’m not even talking about online, I’m talking about me as a person. Like, the fact that you put such private information online for everyone to see, that was so confidential. I’ve told five people. Five; and you told all of the internet because you’re a salty ass motherfucker? No! Like that’s not how this should work. Like, you don’t feel bad at all that’s the worst fucking part. Like you’re just a shitty fucking person who likes to destroy peoples lives because they’re salty. That’s it. If someone doesn’t agree with you, you automatically hate them.

You’ve put me through so much shit that like, there’s no way, there’s no way that this is even real. The thing that bothers me, not even the thing that bothers me the most, because, you fucked me over. But the thing that really bothers me is the fact that you’re talking about ‘legality’ of it. But I was told by your significant other that if I would’ve asked, I could’ve smoked weed on new years. But I shouldn’t have had to ask for permission anyway.

I’ve heard so many bad things come out of your mouth. That it’s ridiculous. Like, I can’t even fathom why you think that you’re in the right for this. Like, at all, I don’t understand. Like, this fucking blows my mind.

I’m not a bad person. I’m just, I’m not a bad person for smoking weed. I’m not, I’m not sorry. I will not apologize. Like, I owe you guys nothing. Like, you guys ultimately fucked me over. Like, you’re the worst human being I have ever experienced. Like, I’ve never met someone so shitty and so fucked up and so willing to just destroy people’s lives just because they’re insecure about something. I just can’t get over the fact that you’re that shitty of a person. Like, that’s how low you had to stoop just to try to prove that you’re right. But, in actuality, you fucked yourself over.

Weed helps people. You basically just told every cancer patient that you hope they die because you’re salty about weed. *Sigh* I just like, I can’t get over this. I’m sorry that I’m so mad (don’t be sorry) but it’s just the fact that he put all my private information online. He called my best friend ugly, he basically called out my family and told everyone to send the cops to my house. He may have not ‘said it’, but he definitely hinted it.

But I’m so fucking sick of them, I’m sick of it. I’m done. As soon as he put out that personal information about me, like, go fuck yourself. You’re the worst fucking person I have ever met, you’re a scumbag. Like, I fucking hate you. I hate you. I’ve never hated someone so much in my entire life.

Like this has had so much effect/affect (I’m sorry I never know the right word for that) on my mental health. That I can’t take it. This is so fucked up. I just, I don’t even know how to deal with this situation because the fact that like he just publicly posted all that stuff about me. Just out of pure spite, *sigh* like, how is that supposed to make me feel? Like, I am never going to feel happy again. I had, what? One private thing, one really private thing and he just told everyone.

Thank you guys for watching, um, fuck you. You know who you are.”


Ayalla also made a video in tears asking him to stop talking her about her in his videos or he was going to be reported to the police as she was tired of the harassment.

I know there are people who will disagree on my views in regards to this but I think there are several things going on here. It is my personal opinion that Onision possibly has some mental health issue in which he lacks empathy but he also seems to be a massive control freak. It seems to me that he can be manipulative and nasty when it benefits him. The YouTube and Twitter Cyberbullying that has been described above is just the icing on this sad sad case. I personally hope that Billie and Ayalla can support each other through this, ridding themselves of the toxicity that is the married couple and regain their former energy.


– D

Episode 11 

It’s 9 months late but the second episode of the year is here. Click the icon to get to the episode!


It has been a pretty crazy 12 months and I have been super lame in keeping up with the blogs I own and the podcast. Uni has been a big part of this but so has physical and mental health.

I am planning to go part time with my studies and change courses so hopefully I will have more time to produce more content. Also – If you are into gaming and nerdy stuff please check out my youtube, twitter, tumblr and youtube channel all by the name of Lez Game.

Humans Online

I have been a part of the online “Atheis­t community” for a couple of years now, ­maybe more. I get a tiny bit concerned a­nd highly annoyed at the amount of so ca­lled infighting and arguments over thing­s that really make no difference in the ­real world. I am sure this is not exclus­ive to atheists, but when people claim t­o be logical and trying to make a differ­ence it just seems ridiculous.

Are we at a time in human existence whe­re we are so involved in online activite­s, that we cease to see each other as av­erage human beings and become so focused­ on semantics that we forget to make an ­effort in the real physical world?

I do not expect everyone to get along, ­that would be impossible. There would be­ conflict in every group that has ever e­xisted in the world. That seems to be a part of the human condition. What I do n­ot understand is how we allow ourselves ­to be so unempathetic, apathetic and dis­connected from our fellow humans. 

Maybe it is just me? ­

Episode 10 – A whole lot of gay stuff

Episode 10 is finally here! Click on the image to watch and/or read through the show notes.


Hallo humans! This is the first episode for 2016. At the rate I am going, we could ned up with 4 episodes by the end of the year.

This year I plan to record more regularly and also want to blog more. I want to spend less time on facebook, and improve my physical and mental health. I am also really hoping that the Australian GOvernment will change their laws so I can marry by partner of 3 years.

Before I get into my discussion points, I just wanted to say that I recently found a review in the Australian iTunes store for the show totally by accident. This made me feel really bad! I then checkout out the other countries and a review there too! So here they are.

Thankyou for your work. This is a great podcast; Filling a niche that *definitely* needed someone to come along, and fill. Doing a fantastic job. More Atheist, gay, women chatting, the better.

Awesome show and a much-needed voice in the marketplace of ideas! Thank you for coming forward & speaking up. It’s important!

I dont know if I have discussed this previously, but it came up on a recent episode of cognitive dissonance. A lot of atheists may wonder how gay or LGBTQIA people can still believe in god.

I am only a psychology student who is an gay ex christian, so I am in no way an expert…but I can comment on my experience and observiation here in Australia.

Its not common or unnusal to meet gay christian here. Yes I did say that right. It is not really something that is deeply thought about. It is just one of those things that happens. A lot of LGBTQIA people I have come into contact with actually hate religion, but have held onto the belief in the trinity or one aspect of the trinity.

The existing beliefs I have observed have not been super active. By that, I mean that they are not church goers or big prayers or anything like that. They do not try to convert you most of the time. It seems to me like it is more of a residual belief or an opinion on the existance of a god figure. It would be pretty unusual to meet someone who is a gay hardcore christian, unless they go to one of those all inclusive churches. Even then, that would be super awkward and weird for me personally. Especially since god hates premarital sex…and sex in general it seems.

I have recently decided that I will not participate in any online debates about homosexuality any more. It needs to stop being treated as a topic of debate as to whether it is a valid thing or not. We need to normalize it. The topic has been beatedn to death over the last few decades. If you still have a problem with it and want to force that onto us and exclude us from society, then there is something seriously fucking wrong with you and nothing that gets said will ever change your mind.

Instead, I fell I shall focus more on trying to eradicate misinformation and try to educate people on sexuality, gender identity and all things LGBTQIA. I will also try to add positive spins to such discussions, since a lot of discussions on these topics seem to get overwhelmingly toxic sometimes. We need to normalize this shit and educate the masses!

Let us start with this – if you call a Transexual or Transgender person a tranny and think it is funny or totally cool, please go to the bathroom. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and slap yourself hard, point in the mirror and say NO! BAD HUMAN! As far as I am concerned, Tranny is to Transgender/Transexual as Faggot is Homosexual.

That marks the end of another episode. If you would like to get in touch you can tweet me via @ladyballsblog, stalk me at big chesticles on facebook or harass me via

Bye for now!




Dear fellow Atheists….

I am wondering how many knew that Paris wasn’t the only one that had terrorist attacks?

Kenya lost 147 people at a university and there have been attacks in the places in my profile picture.

Kinda makes me mad that people are debating about whether people should pray in response or not, or debating the little details of levels of human involvement in religion.

None of this is new. Religion has been a foundation for wars and attacks since forever ago. Islam, Christianity, Catholicism – you name it.

It kind of makes me sad that people use these events as a debate platform or boasting platform when hundreds of families are grieving for the loved ones they have lost, and the victims who survived are trying to cope.

Just my 2 cents.

My Email to Atheism 101

I recently sent an email to Atheism 101 and talked about my story regarding paganism and the journey to atheism. Everytime I tell this story I remember other parts of what happened so I decided to post this here for all to see!

I have been working my way through your episodes from the beginning. I saw you had an episode recently published about Shamanism so I gave in and listened to it. This prompted me to contact you. You may, or may not, find my story interesting.

I was a Pagan for about 3 years or so and if you want woo, it is all up in there as much as pagans do not want to admit it. I didn’t start out as a pagan but actually started out as a christian after starting at a christian school in year 7.

I was a christian for 11 years and was active in it on and off for that entire time. When I wasn’t active it was because I was getting depressed from the pressure and expectation. I didn’t realize I was gay and it would have been massively awkward if I did. There was a lot of pressure to be the perfect christian, to be a missionary and be super active within the church community. I could not handle it. I felt like I had to be someone else entirely.

The type of people I went to church with weren’t necessarily fake, but they were being who they thought they were meant to be. The women married before 20 and were very much the suzie homemaker types that I never would have been able to compete with. If I am honest…they got up my nose. The only person who wasn’t like that was my best friend Sarah who was genuine in all the ways she could be.

Anyhoo, I eventually steered away from it after my last attempts. I had questions that people could not answer like “Why do we worship Jesus when we are told not to worship ANY man?” and why god had such an issue with homosexuality. I felt like god was ignoring me and I was sick of the whole thing.

I was living on my own at the age of 23 and I had a dream about astral projection. This is something I was loosely familiar with because my grandfather had claimed to be able to do it when he was alive (before I was born) and my mother had said she did it once when she was a child. I started googling it (I learnt my google skills from my job on an IT Help Desk).

I opened one link that was talking about protective symbols to wear when projecting so that your body wasn’t taken while you were travelling. I saw it had some links to pagan rituals and I didn’t know what this what. I could not find a straight forward answer so I went to the new agey/witchy store at the local shopping center to find out what it was. The closest I could get was wicca and I remembered seeing this mentioned on the website that mentioned pagan rituals.

I shelled out 50 Australian dollars for that book and read the first half that night. I was sucked in then and there. These types of religious paths are so seductive because it makes claim to we can do anything, we are in control, we have the power to change the natural world and I was fascinated with all the gods that were listed.

I started out as a Wiccan but I was put off by the crazy fairy fluffy lovey type nonsense that I found in the online wiccan community. I then looked at the different paths like shamanism (which was pretty generic), kitchen witchery, witchcraft in general, hedgewitchery, satanism, gypsy magic (I was fascinated by this as my grandfather was half romani), druidism, hellenism etc. I eventually settled for a bit of everything with the greek gods being my focus.

I spent most of my time researching deities, practicing tarot and just literally reading as much as I could and this went on for a couple of years. I loved it because it was so mystical and magical yet it had a hint of danger in my own mind with the whole spirits thing and spell casting. I never actually performed a ritual although I did do a spell or two.

Most of what I did in a practicing sense was gifts to the gods on my altar, playing with crystals and tarot, and meditation with visualization. I also have always had a fascination with the physical universe and the science of life and existence.

I believed that earth had a spirit called gaia and every planet had one, I also believed in reincarnation and the gods in a literal sense. One day I was in the car with my now soon to be wife and I realized something. If science can explain the changing of seasons…then the gods could not exist…they must have been talked about to think of reasons for changes. This broke my world.

I talked on a forum I belong to and someone said they use the personifications of the gods to represent aspects of themselves and I just remember thinking well that is just dumb. I am not going to worship and conduct rituals and spells in my own name. So that religious part faded for me but it took a long time to let go of the crystals and tarot because I really wanted it to be real.

I became an atheist after looking at podcasts (which I was a big fan of when I was a pagan) that discuss non belief and came across the scathing atheist…Podcast shows like yours helped me disconnect from the want and look at what is testable. I will say that I get annoyed when religious people are described as stupid though, belief systems can convince the most intelligent of people because it can be very seductive.

Now that Ive written a book in email form…I will end this here! If you have further questions or wish to discuss further please feel free to email me back 🙂

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